21 weeks

Over half way. I want to tell you everything is going great and I’m loving my pregnancy and excited about every little thing… and I am.

but last week in therapy we started talking about my birth with BoC just days after my midwife read some notes from my labor that sent me into a tailspin.

My therapist gave me homework to write about it… but I can’t. I can’t put words it. Quite frankly, my birth experience with BoC was the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me.
Yeah… was it that bad? or was I just really lucky? Both, to be honest. and now here we are careening toward another labor and birth and I have SO much work through.

I’m forcing myself to publish this even though it’s a shitty post with nothing to say, because maybe tomorrow morning while I fold laundry I’ll come up with a way to really say what’s tearing me apart.

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~ by zeneggs on April 10, 2012.

3 Responses to “21 weeks”

  1. I can imagine there is a lot of anxiety as we approach our due dates, especially if you had a traumatic birth experience before. At least you have that to look back on and learn form. But I have read that no pregnancy is ever the same and that applies to giving birth as well. I hope this baby will come into the world with ease

  2. Here, ready. ❤

  3. Checking in to see how you are doing. I follow you silently! My DE baby will be 1 next week, I can hardly believe it. I hope thinsg are well. I remember having many emotions after his birth. If you want to take/email feel free.

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