What if?

The closer I get to transfer, the more baby envy I have. I treated a 6 day old today and almost didn’t want to give her back… but I don’t want someone else’s baby, I want MY baby.

 

What if this doesn’t work? What will I do? Will I completely fall apart?

What if this works and I have another early miscarriage? What will I do? Will I completely fall apart?

What if this works and I have a late loss? What will I do? I will completely fall apart.

What if this works???

Believe it or not, I’m not really having any anxiety. But these questions are starting to roll around in my head and I’m not sure what the answers are, other than… I just don’t know. I want this to work so badly. I want this to be the end of this part of the story. I’m ready to move on to the next chapter.

Please.

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~ by zeneggs on November 12, 2011.

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