A day without anxiety

This morning I woke up feeling like crap. BoC had been up in the middle of the night and then slept late so I sent her off to hang out with her S2 and Grandma (we’re in Michigan visiting family) and went back to bed. I woke up at 11:45 feeling vaguely headachey, hung over and quite frankly, like I had morning sickness. I had neither consumed alcohol nor embryos the night before so neither was likely.

For no good reason at all, I felt like complete crap. A little dizzy, off center, bleh. Nothing seemed to help so I just went about my day, feeling yucky and slightly irritable, not really how you want to spend your vacation. We ended up taking our nephew who’s 18 months old (and doesn’t have any words yet, lemme tell you, that makes this autism mama’s heart stop) to a nearby beach to let the kids get dirty and play in the water and I continued to want to hurl on my shoes and punch random strangers in the face.

We ended up back at my BIL’s house where he and his wretched wife were getting ready for a wedding (she just had foot surgery so she’s being waited on hand and foot, just her style, she’s a princess) and we ordered pizza for the kids and jersey giants for the grown ups.  I felt for sure I’d eat a bite of my sandwich and want to crawl under the couch and die, but strangely, the sub made me feel much better.

After S2 took BoC off to bed, I decided I felt good enough to head out for a run, something I haven’t done in 2 weeks… and lo, it was good. It wasn’t my best run, not by a long shot, but it was 2.2 miles in the cool summer air, serenaded by cricket, cicadas and bullfrogs while fireflies were lighting my way home.

And then I realized I hadn’t had anxiety all day.  Guess it just takes a day of feeling like crap to shut your crazy mind off, eh? Or perhaps my hormones have finally stabilized and I can resume being my normal crazy self, not the one that sucks down xan.ax like it’s candy.

I really hope it’s the latter.


~ by zeneggs on August 28, 2011.

One Response to “A day without anxiety”

  1. I already loved you, but then I read “I continued to want to hurl on my shoes and punch random strangers in the face.” and I loved you even more. Thanks for posting from the Mish.

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