Anxiety kills

I started bleeding yesterday. Woke up to horrible cramps, and didn’t get out of bed till 10:30 (thank god it was sunday).  S2 took BoC on a long bike ride so I spent most of the day alone on the couch knitting and reading. Other than feeling like I was amidst uterine mutiny, it was a lovely day.

Oh right, then there is the anxiety. I’ve been having it BAD since… well the whole cycle, but really bad since I quit the whoremones cold turkey last week. BAD. Like wake up at 2 am with completely irrational thoughts, mostly about all the ways I’m failing in life. Awesome, no?

No, it’s not awesome. What doesn’t help is the fact that my kid has no preschool this week, our sitter (my niece)  just found out she has MRSA on her face (back up sitter has been attained, thank god) and we leave for a 10 day trip to Michigan on Thursday. Recipe for disaster? yes, yes it is.

So my kid will be watching too much tv (3 hours of PBS today already!) while I try to breathe and not lose the last shred of my sanity and clean house and pack and work and and and.

Oh yeah tomorrow I get to go in and verify that my hcg levels are at zero. That’ll be fun.

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~ by zeneggs on August 22, 2011.

3 Responses to “Anxiety kills”

  1. I love you. I freaking HATE that we’re in this together, but there’s nobody else I’d rather watch 14 go down in flames with.

    As for tv, I’m pretty sure you’re not doing any damage. Let her watch PBS. Now, if you were letting her watch the playboy channel we’d have to talk. 😉

    ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

  2. Ha. You and I are in competition with tv watching.

    Enough with the mama guilt. You’re a great mom, a great wife, a great everything. Get rest.

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