Monday monday

Monday is almost over. Which means Tuesday is almost here. Which means it’s practically Wednesday. Which means it might as well be Thursday. Which is the day I’m going to POAS (if I decide to do it). Because Friday is beta day and my lovely husband has a prebooked salmon fishing trip somewhere out in the Pacific and who knows if he will have cell coverage. I’d like to send him off with SOME knowledge of our success (or failure).

This isn’t my first time at the rodeo friends. This is my 5th embryo transfer. FIFTH. As of last Wednesday, nine viable embryos have been transfered into my body and I currently have one living child. Every single ET I’ve ever had, I have great faith until 5 days past transfer and the hope drains out of me like I met Eric Northman in a dark alley (but with out the fabulous sex) and I spend a few days feeling hopeless before I watch an uplifting movie and rally with some more hope.  Which is why I never, ever, ever poas. EVER. I did with my first IVF the morning of beta and the test was a dud. No control line. It was a sign that I am not to pee on sticks.

True to form, yesterday I woke up feeling that it was a waste of $30K and that come Friday I would be waiting for yet another call that starts with “Hi Cracked Eggs, I wish I were calling with better news…” I can always tell the results by the way they say my name. It’s even worse when it’s Dr. M who makes the call. It’s hard not to cry when it’s him telling you he’s sorry, that once again, your uterus has consumed a couple more million dollar embryos.

But this time things are different, right? these are 23 year old eggs. I had a PERFECT lining at 11mm with a triple stripe. My progesterone and estrogen levels were stellar. Odds are in my favor for a change. Instead of this being a hail mary pass, this little tomato has a pretty decent chance of hanging on.  So this time, I just might do what all infertiles do with great aplomb. I might, just might pee. on. a. stick.

In the mean time, tell me there is  still hope.

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~ by zeneggs on August 9, 2011.

6 Responses to “Monday monday”

  1. I don’t know why you threw “still” in there with that last line.

    There’s all the hope in the world. We’ve not been told otherwise.
    .
    Can’t wait to see two lines.

    • I love how brazen you are when it’s someone else’s urine. 😉 (and I’m glad you’re here, I wanted to share with you months ago, but figured you were too wrapped up in all that was going on and was worried you wouldn’t get it, but I’m so glad you’re here)

  2. I’m with Rach; that “still” is bullshit. Your chances are fabulous. Pee away; it’s such fun when it’s a winner! ❤

  3. Sending some positive thoughts your way. Hopefully they will turn into a positive test too!

  4. I’m glad I’m here, too. Don’t worry, I got all caught up. And it’s your journey to share if you want to share it, and when you want to share it. There are a lot of ways to build a family. Some involve nearly dying…I don’t recommend those ways. 😉

    “How brazen you are with someone else’s urine.”

    Dying over here…

  5. Holy heaven. Tomorrow is Thursday.

    Use the cup method. Shaky hands dont help much.

    Oh, Zen. Believe in your odds. This round could be the round where it all pays off.

    Who is going to hold me???? Law have mercy, I feel like I am going to yak.

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