All systems go

I started my period. A week early. Apparently my uterus was excited to get this party started. (Truth be told, in my last two IVFs I started bleeding early, what can I say? my ute is an over achiever.)

On cd3 I started birth control pills. Oh how all the silly fertiles ask over and over “why do you take BCP if you are trying to get pregnant?” Eh, shut up and rub you fat free pregnant belly, bitch.

Oh did I mention that birth control pills suck ass? The first 3 days were a piece of cake, easy peasy lemon squeasy. Um, yeah. Day 5 I woke up in a snit of anxiety that would not release me all day. My heart in a vise, my head in the clouds and my lungs locked. Good times, my friends, good times. Day 6 was all about crying. WEEPING. It started from a not so innocent song, that literally brought me to my knees on the kitchen floor, tears streaming down my face heaving, sobbing.

Oh oh OH how I hate birth control pills. And folks I’ve got at least 3 more weeks of them, before beginning what may be up to FIVE weeks of lupron. Oh lupron, you mean, asshole of a bitchface. yeah. I don’t like Lupron. Gimme some progesterone, that’s my buddy. Yeah, you’ve got to take it in the ass, but progesterone is so happy (tho occasionally sleepy and weepy) and progesterone means so many good things, ya know?

So how am I surviving? Well my prince of a husband is getting up with our kid every morning and letting me get an extra blessed hour of sleep (tho he’s going to be out of town all this week, send wine) and that’s making every day start off much easier but really, the main source of stress release is running.

I’m a new runner. I started a few months ago because I wanted to treat my body differently in this cycle and hell, I needed a way out of the crazy my head was talking itself into. Everyone and their mother was doing the couch to 5K program, and if those bitches can do it, well so can I. The first day, maybe on the second or third running interval I had an incredible realization: If I can do this I can do anything.

((I’m so not into pop music, but damn it makes me want to run.))

On Tuesday I’ll get a calendar and we’ll know our timeline. Our donor is ready, our paperwork is all in, and all of our preliminary testing is done. All. Systems. Go.

And so it begins.

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~ by zeneggs on June 13, 2011.

3 Responses to “All systems go”

  1. I’m so with you on all of this. I adore you, and your music choices too ;). I can’t wait for this for you. Just keep your eyes up and on the goal in front of you. BCPs and Lupron be damned – you got this. ❤

  2. Eeeeeee! So very excited that you’re getting this show in the rizzoad. I wish these various hornones were kinder to you, my sweet. Sigh. At least it’s not forever. Goooo, BABIES!!! xoxo

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